Can Sidechicks Save Your Relationships?

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I was watching OWN’s new talk show “Its Not You Its Men” starring Rev Run and Tyrese and the topic of show was monogamy. After a few guests weighed in on the topic they moved to a segment where they discussed the sidechick status. They asked “if sidechicks actually help the relationships/marriages of the person they are cheating with more than they hurt?”  Tyrese discussed a person he knew who  was married for fifteen years and said his side chick was the reason for marital longevity. As I was yelling at the screen I realized, “Erica you have to blog this opinion you are hollering for no one to hear”. So here goes:

Do Sidechicks Save Your Relationship?


My issue with cheating is similar to what Rev Run has spoke to a few times.

1. If men were wired to cheat then why aren’t women wired to take it.

2.  An observation that hasn’t been said yet, if you are so gun-ho to cheat then are you really even with the right person to begin with.

While Tyrese detailed that the guy in a marriage wasn’t getting all the sexual satisfaction he wanted.  My response to that is then maybe you married the wrong person, my brother.

I don’t believe that your soul mate comes to you completely deficient of what you need in an area. If they do they don’t lack the capacity to learn any aspect or characteristic that you need from them. Healthy and successful relationships are a cumulation of things. Those many parts are dependent upon each other. If that was the case then how are “they” destined for you? You aren’t destined to go without.

I personally haven’t experienced all that is out there when it comes to the world of sexual fantasy and perversion. I do know that my future husband and I are gonna need to be on the same accord with what we want in that arena if we are ever going succeed in marriage. If he needs me to climb walls, hang from chandeliers, find costumes or whatever lets do it.  But if he wants to invite others into the bedroom, get freaky with plush animals or other tomfoolery then I am not the one for him.  Too often we find ourselves with people that we may like, learn to love but aren’t really right for because we didn’t take the time to get to truly get to know them and communicate honestly everything that is expected, wished, hoped or dreamed of.

“Too often we find ourselves w/ people that we may like, learn to love but aren’t good for because we don’t take the time to get to know them”  [Tweet This]

What do you think? Are men wired to cheat? Are sidekicks really saving relationships? Have you seen the show? Post all your comments or questions below!

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